I'm eating all of the evidence.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
