apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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