How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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