that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
