I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
