everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
