I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
