ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
