Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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