what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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