I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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