Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
