Well douche your snatch and let's go!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
