She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
