I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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