no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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