I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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