I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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