I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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