Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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