you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
