we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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