I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
