You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
