he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
