"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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