i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Randomize
