I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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