And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
