So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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