I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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