I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
