my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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