Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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