I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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