brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
