I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
