Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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