dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
