Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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