this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
