I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize