She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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