i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Help. Why am I so naked?
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