I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
