just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
