theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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