it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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