The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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