dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You can't motorboat a personality
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
