It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
