i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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