Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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