He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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