I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
