She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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