Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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