I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
