i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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