turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
